You will get in that car now or so help me . . . .!

Here is a discussion that is doing the rounds in my backyard at the moment.

Should you force your kids to come to church (a.k.a Sunday school / youth group)?

The unsaid that brings you to this question could be something like:
'We don't want to mess our kids up'
We don't want our kids to hate us'
'It's tough because we don't know how to do it'
'We value Christian things and aren't sure how to help our kids to do the same'

I've heard views expressed across the spectrum.

And I have been quite surprised / upset by some of them as well.

For what it's worth - here are some of my thoughts:

Faith and churching should start in the home.
So if you don't go to church or bible study as a parent, your dead in the water.

It would seem odd to me however, if you do read the bible and pray with your kids to then say, 'This is as far as it has to go. Corporate fellowship outside of this family is optional.'
Communicating to your kids that their faith can be a personal and secret thing seems a strange counterpoint to trying to get them to engage with God in the first place (not to mention the messed up theology of church you would be teaching them)

One objection I heard was that faith is a choice of each individual and we can't make demands on someone else's conscience.
But that misses the point doesn't it?

You are not forcing them to become a Christian, but just insisting that they attend church once or twice a week. Big difference. Unless you think that they are one in the same, in which case may I suggest there are bigger issues here than just the question at the top of the page.

It's also worth noting that little kids and early teens do not yet have fully developed cognitive pathways for processing abstract and complex choice scenarios. Which is why as parents we make decisions for them all the time (You will hold my hand as we cross the road / You will brush your teeth / sharing is caring). It is grossly unfair to expect a kid to reason like an adult - to tease out all possible good and bad consequences from this choice and be mature enough to weigh these up. And on this issue the stakes are too high to not intervene.

Perhaps an unspoken anxiety is that I don't want my kids to hate me for making them do something they don't want to.
At which point I would ask you to consider what is your angle when it comes to drugs, sex and rock and roll (actually, when it comes to RnR, I ope you encourage it! But I digress . . . .)

We are willing to have our kids think we are 'old school' for the sake of their safety and well being in restricting them from dangerous substance and dangerous people. How about being willing to cop a bit of flak for getting them to say yes to something which is much more important. (Do you believe that it is more important?)

Hand in hand with this is that you don't want to turn them off Christian things
I get this one - and it is a good concern to have, obviously.

But will the approval of complete non engagement in Christian things be of any real difference at the end of the day from the worse case scenario of making them attend and having them not enjoy it?

And do we believe in the Spirit of God convicting their hearts? And the power of the Spirit working through his word? And the prayers of believing parents? And the commitment, giftedness and prayer of the sunday school teacher / youth leader?

Now sure, there are situational considerations to keep in mind.
'Is their reluctance to go because they are getting bullied?'
'Are they too young to be able to handle to group'
(EG: an infant overstimulated at a noisy sunday school)
But there are solutions to this - perhaps become a sunday school helper yourself to ensure the environment is a good one!

And rather than making this another classic parent kid tug of war - isn't it an opportunity to teach and train?

To insist that you will discharge your parental responsibilities as best you know how, but to also explain (perhaps at a different time) why church is important, especially for believers. Why your happiness is not the most important thing.
Why turning up and putting a bum on a seat to fill a room can be a great encouragement to the kid who feels he is all alone in this 'Christian thing.'

Anyway, enough from me.

That was part post, part vent.

Did I miss anything?
Am I way off base?
Your thoughts?

Scott