The 'A' word
Last night was bible study and we gave Eph 5 a shot. Paul doesn't give you much room to move in the first 21 verses so there was not too much room to hide.
But we did end with a discussion by way of application with a word or two about accountability. Here are some of our thoughts, we were just flying a kite, but see what you think.
I think that in our Christian circles the word 'accountability' has gone the way of 'rebuke'. It has been overused and abused and no one really knows what it means anymore or even if they like what they think it might mean.
In our inevitable way, we have taken something very relationally driven and jammed it into a structure. In doing so we might have broken it. We realised that it is very hard to manufacture 'accountability' if it doesn't grow naturally out of friendship. You would hope that your group of friends is a soft place to land, and that in that kind of place, people can keep you walking the path with the kind of checks and balances that friends have.
So we decided not to pair up with accountability partners, but instead, work a little harder on the firednships in our Bible study and get them to 'do the work' that we have become so used to farming out to 'proffessional accoutnability friends'.
What sort of characteristics will these friendships have to make this work?
Well, we thought that we need to be gentle, but not soft with each other.
Compassionate, but not careless.
We also thought that rather than being a 'Mr Fix it' for each other, we should be more like guide dogs. Walking the road hand in hand. (Yes, know dog's don't have hands.)
Those are some of our thoughts from last night.
Got any more to add?
Scott
5 comments:
>"In our inevitable way, we have taken something very relationally driven and jammed it into a structure. In doing so we might have broken it."
I think this is very true Scott.
I think one of the problems with the way 'accountability' becomes structured is that it seems like an obligation rather than a priviledge; an obligation to report (and with that report, either explain or justify) rather than I guess challenging and encouraging each other in a walk forward together - which is what you suggested, walking hand in hand.
Relationships are obviosuly so important not only in our lives as humans, but as Christians as part of a family. And how can you expect to rebuke effectively, out of love and in a way that people will respond to if you dont know and trust each other, and struggle together, as we so often do yet dont acknowledge...
..having said that, there is obviously still a place for rebuking and that cant be pushed aside entirely.
anyway, i think you have a great point. These things should be naturally apart of teh way we relate as part of a family, not something forced into structure..
PS: Just to give credit where credit is due - Leights came up with half those thousts at BS the other night . . . .:)
haha well nice work to you both :)
and hey, while i'm here, is there anything specific i can pray for your BS? - as my brothers in Christ in another part of the world...
hehe me again, sorry...
I was just reading some more of Paul's letters and thought id add a few things...I
n reading Galations today Paul's letter actually gives an example of taking the hard line for those who, as believers, should know better (so to speak), being strong in his words to the Galations.
1:6 says he is "astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ" - so we see a situation where the hardline rebuke is more appropriate. He uses this strategy later on too, such as in his calling them 'foolish' and questioning their behaviour in chapter 3.
My point being that, while accountability and rebuking are different, it can be hard to draw the line between the two, and there are obviously situations where the harsher approach is required.
Having said that, when you read Ephesians he talks of us all being objects of wrath (2:3), so again we are in this together, of living a life worthy of the calling (4:1-6) so again our lives (and therefore relationships with our brothers and sisters) should be an example that indirectly keeps the other accountable (does that make sense to say that?), and that we are to be humble, gentle, and patient, again supporting the line of friendship accountability in a gentle way (as you already referred to)...
so a lot of random thoughts there, but all suggesting there is a place for both...
but i still think we do take the view of the rebuke and direct accountability and go over the relational far to quickly...they were just some verses i read today that made me think of these issues...
C.
wow,
here is just a small comment.
Why do we only serach out acccountability partners once we've fallen into a mess?
"I'm really struggling with this....can you help me be accountable?"
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